Arm Fall Off Plaid Lad stood up and said, "I understand that this film has been disrupted by a sex scandal. It turns out that your spouse Javier Bardem was having an affair behind your back. And your response against his having an affair was so horrible and scary that people now want to see you legally dead once and for all. Your death will make it possible for Javier Bardem to continue having an affair without you always messing it up."
Arm Fall Off Plaid Lad said, "Javier Bardem is having an affair and he has a convoluted masturbation ritual related to this affair. Dating you disrupts this affair. Dating you disrupts this convoluted masturbation ritual. This affair and this convoluted masturbation ritual is more important that Javier Bardem going steady with you. What do you have to say about your conduct thus far."
Arm Fall Off Plaid Lad said, "But Javier Bardem not allowed to have an affair behind your back and not allowed to have a convoluted masturbation ritual because now he has to have sex with you instead is ruining Hollywood film projects."
Penelope said, "What the Hell is your problem? Are you blind? I'm promoting a Hollywood film right now."
Penelope said, "You're out of line you dumb and insolent piece of shit."
Penelope cried out, "Chose your words carefully asshole because your next words will be your last."
Penelope roared, "I'm married to Javier and I'm telling you that you can't do this to me!"
Javier replied, "What do I do now? I'm so confused and ashamed."
Bono said, "I'll handle your wife. You just stay here."
U2 rock band members Larry Mullens and Adam Clayton stood nearby while this happened.
Penelope cried out, "What are you doing to Javier. You didn't realize that I'd find out."
Bono replied, "You weren't supposed to be here. The Angry Rioting Mob was supposed to finish you off. Now other plans need to be found."
Bono replied, "You'll find out."
The Edge just stood between them as this conversation continued.
This story will be continued tomorrow...